Glen Alex asleep in the Living In Total Health Sleep Mask

Why Sleep is Essential for Mental, Physical, and Overall Health

by Health & WellnessHealthy LivingMental Health

Sleep affects every area of health. So if you seek good physical, mental, emotional, and even spiritual health, then getting good nights’ rest is non-negotiable. For the record, the spiritual aspect of humanity is not about religion for me. It is about the alignment between choices and values/principals. Deep, restorative sleep ignites the body’s innate healing processes, promotes mental clarity and emotional balance, provides natural energy, and enhances joy. Plus, there are many other benefits of sleep.

 

“Sleep is the Swiss army knife of health. When sleep is deficient, there is sickness and disease. And when sleep is abundant, there is vitality and health.”
–Matthew Walker

 

How Poor Sleep Affects Health

Poor sleep, on the other hand, has significant negative health consequences. To inspire you to make choices that allow you to sleep well and enhance your overall health and well-being, it’s helpful to understand the downside of sleep deficits. Below is a brief list of those negative effects.

  • Sleep deprivation often resembles symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
  • Poor sleep increases inflammation levels in women
  • The brain is unable to detox, as it normally removes neurological waste during sleep
  • Increased risk for high blood pressure, diabetes, and weakened immune system
  • Increased anxiety, nervous energy, mood swings• Mental fog and forgetfulness
  • Poor decision-making
  • Excess consumption of caffeine, sugar, food in general
  • Low energy/fatigue
  • Weight gain and impediment to weight loss

Interestingly, the negative side effects of sleep deficits are rarely mentioned in conversations about weight, memory, and hyperactivity. And as you can see, the negative effects of poor sleep are plenty and do impact every area of health–physical, mental, emotional, and ultimately spiritual health.

 

Adequate rest provides a sense of strength, awareness, and focus. Proper rest is also
beneficial in maintaining and improving health because it provides the wise body
space to heal and the opportunity to add quality to life.
–Glen Alex, Living In Total Health

 

Choosing Sleep

Lifestyle and habits definitely impact sleep quality. Do you burn the candle at both ends? Are you of the mindset that you will ‘sleep when you’re dead’? Do you sacrifice sleep to do something only to please someone else or to get some non-urgent task done? If you answered yes to either question, then your choices diminish the quality of your sleep and ultimately your health.

Sleep Hygiene, on the other hand, promotes deep and restorative sleep. The pattern of behaviors you engage in 2-3 hours before bedtime is Sleep Hygiene. These actions communicate to your mind and body when it’s time to rest. Thus, you choose actions that enhance the quality of your sleep for better functioning, mental clarity, and enrichment your overall health and well-being.

REST UP Method

Use my REST UP method for non-medicinal ways to improve the quality of your sleep patterns. These tips are designed to prepare your mind and body for rest, and can be adjusted to reflect your individual needs.

Routine: Develop habits for bedtime to invite sleep

    • eat at least 2-3 hours before to give your body time to digest food
    • minimize or eliminate consumption of caffeine and sugar
    • take a warm bath/shower, do gentle yoga, meditate, listen to soft music

Exercise: Engage in regular physical activity like working out, hiking, cycling or sports to burn off excess energy,                   which can lower blood pressure, enabling the body to relax.
Schedule: Have a regular sleep-wake schedule to support your Circadian rhythm and prioritize your to-do’s                         before winddown—don’t wait til after dinner to clean the bathroom for example
Tech Off: Eliminate using devices and doom scrolling; enable Do Not Disturb on your phone
Unwind: Journal after Tech Off; write down whatever is on your mind at that time (Mind Dump)
Practices: Engage in regular practices to quiet your mind and manage stress; meditation, journaling, and                             reading inspirational materials are powerful tools to bring about good sleep and rest

 

Other Sleep Influencers

The factors below also influence how well you sleep.

Temperature: the body needs to cool down 1-2 degrees, so your room temperature must allow for that.

Bedding: if your sheets, pillows, mattress, or blankets are uncomfortable, then your sleep suffers.

Stress: life events can weigh on your mind and create muscle tension, which will diminish sleep. Sleep                     hygiene helps keep stress to a minimum, particularly the mind dump and relaxation practices.

 

Figure out what you need to reach the restorative level of sleep because everyone is different.
Consult a professional health care provider if need be. In any case, get some rest!
–Glen Alex, Living In Total Health

 

Conclusion

Sleep is non-negotiable for physical, mental, and overall health. Deep, restorative sleep triggers your body’s own innate healing abilities, produces emotional balance and mental clarity, natural energy, and joy to your life. So, make lifestyle choices that allow you to sleep well to be as healthy as possible in every area of your life.

If you need assistance in evaluating and improving your sleep, visit GlenAlex.com to order your signed copies of Living In Total Health and Living Boundaries, and  to request for complimentary consultation with me.

Living Boundaries is Glen’s much anticipated 2nd book. It is a deep dive into health boundaries and how boundaries impact physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. Living Boundaries is available in 18 countries on Amazon. Click here for each country’s link.

Glen Alex Author of Living In Total Health and Living Boundaries
Glen Alex, LCSW, mental health, life story, flip the script

Flipping Your Script

by Health & WellnessMental Health

We all have stories that we unconsciously act out. The problem is that these narratives were imposed upon us, typically by people we depended on for food, shelter, safety, and love. They gave us a script based upon their wants, needs, pain, and trauma, and not our needs, goals, purpose, skills or talents. In order to gain their approval or at least minimize their harm to us, we accepted the roles they arbitrarily assigned to us.

Acting out the unrealistic script that was imposed upon you often results in mental health, relational, financial, or other unhealthy issues. Thus, if you want to enhance your life experience and improve your health and well-being, then flipping your script to become the author of your own life is required.

 

“When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen.” 
— Unknown

The Story of Your Life

Start with, what’s the story of your life? Maybe you’re the one who takes care of others first. Possibly you’re the peacemaker who always gives in or perhaps you’re the strong one who doesn’t need help.

While the traits of imposed narratives can be positive, they can also be road blocks to your best self.

Taking care of others is not noble when it results in self-neglect or poor boundaries. Ignoring your needs for self-advocacy and self-expression just to avoid disagreement destroys inner peace. And not asking for or accepting help when necessary is not strength because no human succeeds in any way alone.

Become the Author of Your Story

In order to flip the script that you’re acting out and improve your mental health and overall wellbeing, follow the steps in ART below. This process is about learning, clarity, and improving your relationship with yourself.  It is not an opportunity to judge, criticize, or belittle yourself.

Acknowledge the story you repeat to yourself. This is the first step in the change process.

Finish this sentence by saying it out loud then writing it down on paper:
“The story of my life is…”

Bill told himself that he has to get everything done at work each shift, even though management doesn’t provide the resources and support he needs to do so.

Other examples include:

  • I should be able to do it myself.
  • Taking a break is lazy.
  • No one will like me if I speak up.
  • Things never work out for me.

Reflect on your false narrative to see its negative impact on you and how it keeps you stuck, anxious, or depressed.

Ask yourself these questions. Say the answers out loud then write them down on paper.

1. Do your stories empower, inspire, or motivate you?
2. Do your stories trigger anxiety, depression, anger, or self-harm?

Bill realized that he felt “stuck” between getting everything done and not having the resources to complete all tasks. Every day he left work angry because he didn’t have help and he felt like a failure when he couldn’t get everything done, which negatively impacted his family when he arrived home.


Transcend your narrative and rewrite your story.

If you answered no to #1 and yes to #2 above, then it’s time to rewrite your story.

Finish the sentence below by saying it out loud then writing it down on paper. Phrase the answer affirmatively and as if it’s already true.
I want the story of my life to be…

Example:
Bill’s False narrative: I’m a failure if I don’t get it all done.
Flipping the script: I am successful with appropriate resources.


Consciously base your choices and actions on your new script. Keep in mind that it may take some time for you to become accustomed to your new way a being. So, create reminders of your new script then extend yourself some grace and self-compassion as you learn to live it.

Glen Alex, LCSW, Author of LIving In Total Health, Book Release Party, Book Signing, Indie Book Award Winner, Book Excellence Award Winner

 

…to enhance your life experience and improve your health and well-being, then flipping your script to become the author of your own life is required.

You can rewrite the life story that you’ve been arbitrarily given by others and and unwittingly accepted. Your mental health and overall wellbeing require you to flip the script you’re unconsciously acting out. Using the steps in ART will help you Acknowledge the story of your life, Reflect on the unrealistic narrative, and Transcend that false narrative. Assistance from a professional therapist or life coach can help you unpack your story, process your wounds, then become the author of your own life by flipping the script.

 

To learn more about your story and total health, order your copy my 3x award-winning book Living in Total Health, order the Amazon Best Seller Wellness Through Words that includes my chapter, Living Well with Boundaries, and BOOK your free consult w/me.

Glen Alex, The Glen Alex Show, Health Blog, Self Advocacy, health and wellness

Why Self-Advocacy is Important for Your Health and Well-being

by Health & WellnessHealthy LivingMental Health

Do you speak up for yourself?

I am an advocate. I’m an advocate for my health and well-being, making conscious choices that sometimes buck against the “norm” and expectations of others. And I am an advocate for the health and wellness of others.

“I learned a long time ago the wisest thing I can do is be on my own side, be an advocate for myself and others like me.”
–Maya Angelou

Benefits of Advocating for Yourself

And I’m also a huge proponent of you advocating for yourself. Quite simply, self-advocacy is speaking up for yourself to get your needs met appropriately. Those needs can include nourishment, sleep, help in the home or with the kids, positive regard, respect, effective medical care, and self-care time. Your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health depend upon you getting your needs met with the cooperation of loved ones, coworkers, supervisors, politicians, and medical providers.

Advocating for yourself is required for your authentic experience of love and joy, and for your total health. It is also important for you to know that unmet needs lead to depression, anxiety, illness, addiction, and other unhealthy conditions.

One client presented with anxiety and panic attacks. She usually “goes with the flow” when her husband and family make plans and does not express her needs or desires. When things don’t turn out the way she wants, she gets angry which expresses itself as anxiety and panic.

Advocating for yourself is required for your
authentic experience of love and joy, and for your total health.

So, understand that if you are not comfortable speaking up for yourself and allow others to direct your life and experience, then your emotional boundaries are the issue. Reminder from Living In Total Health and previous blogs: emotional boundaries involve relinquishing your needs to please others, giving in to others against your better judgement, and taking unrealistic responsibility for the choices of others.

How to Advocate for Yourself

You can learn to self-advocate, however. Follow these simple steps to ADVOCATE for yourself:

A


cknowledge your needs and list them

D


etermine to whom and when to communicate your needs – spouse/partner, siblings, doctor

V


ocalize your needs with your words, communicating them to who you identified above

O


rganize your time, energy, and resources to allow space for you to get what you need

C


ontrol what you can, including your choices, reactions, and resources

A


sk for help and information when necessary

T


ake time for self-care, to self-soothe, to self-nurture

E


ducate yourself by doing your own research

You can follow these simple self-advocacy steps to enhance your health and well-being by getting your needs met appropriately, which will enable you to be whole and live fully — be wellthy.

For more information on advocacy, check out this episode of The Glen Alex Show, What You Need to Know About Hospital Errors and Advocacy on Youtube, iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, and your favorite podcast platform.

Then visit GlenAlex.com to order your copy of Glen’s 3x award-winning book, Living In Total Health, and to request your complimentary consultation with Glen.

glen alex, living in total health, journal notebook, journal therapy, glenalex.com

Journaling to Enhance Your Mental Health and Well-being

by Health & WellnessHealthy LivingMental Health

I know firsthand the value and benefits of therapeutic writing. I experienced its powerful effects on mental and emotional health long before becoming a Clinical Social Worker and psychotherapist.

My childhood diary was my best and most loyal friend. It accepted all of my thoughts, feelings, and experiences without judgement. My diary provided an outlet for the mostly impoverished life I was born into. I say mostly because some of the non-monetary aspects of being poor positively impacted me then and richly influence my work now.

“Sometimes only the paper will listen to you.”
–Anonymous

Journaling to Heal

In my early twenties, I joined a dream group that lasted more than 7 years. During this time, I journaled hundreds of my dreams for interpretation by me and the group members. If you’re thinking that interpreting dreams is “out there” or crazy or weird or stupid, then you are wrong. Dream interpretation is a powerful psychological tool utilized by the founder of Psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud, PhD and Psychiatrist Carl Jung, PhD. The International Association for the Study of Dreams carries on this work. Anyway, journaling my dreams brought me new awareness, effective processing, and insights crucial to my health and healing.

Glen Alex, Clinical Social Worker, author of Living In Total Health, Indie Book Award Winner, Host of The Glen Alex Show, Positive Change Podcast Award Winner, Health, Healing, Journal Therapy, Mental Health, Well-being

I’ve also learned along the way that journaling has a positive impact on physical health as well. James Pennebaker, PhD is a Social Psychologist and author, and is known for his research on therapeutic writing, journaling. His studies have shown that in addition to healthy mindset shifts, journal therapy reduced the number of medical visits study participants had for up to six months after journaling.

“People who wrote about their deepest thoughts and feelings surrounding a trauma evidenced an impressive drop in illness visits after the study.”
–James Pennebaker, PhD, The Healing Power of Expressing Emotions

Journaling Tips for You

Because of these powerful benefits, I highly recommend journaling to my clients, particularly those with anxiety, depression, and difficulty sleeping. Those who do journal appreciate the new insights they learn about themselves, experience relief from their baggage, and sleep better.

To enhance your self-awareness and healing, here are few easy to implement tips for you:

1. Take a moment. Make sure you have privacy. Center by closing your eyes or focusing on a spot, and breathe deeply.

2. Start where you are. Journaling is not about being a best-selling author. It’s about expressing yourself. So write without judging your spelling, grammar, nor even what you say.

3. Dump your mind. Clients who do the mind dump report falling asleep faster and getting better quality sleep. It’s simple…your last act at bedtime is to write whatever is on your mind. It can be a recap of your day, ideas you have, your to-do list for the next day, etc.

4. Pick your topic. The more you journal, then the more personal your journal becomes. You will choose to write about specific themes or triggers in your life. Some even focus on what they’re grateful for. There are many sources for journaling prompts to get you started.

5. Express your uniqueness. Do you. Use whatever words and phrases you desire. And be as creative as you want to be. And if you prefer to speak your journal, then by all means record a verbal journal.

6. Reflect. Evaluating what your journal reveals to you is a critical step in your healing journey because it avails you of new, better, and healthier choices. ask yourself questions like What did I learn about myself? What surprised me the most? What was I reminded of? How can I use this information?

“Journaling is like whispering to one’s self and listening at the same time.”
— Mina Murray, Fictional Character

For more information on journal therapy, check out this episode of The Glen Alex Show, Discover the Healing Power of Journaling on Youtube.  Glen’s guest is Journal Therapist Kathleen Adams who offers a free online journal course, J is for Journal.

The most important aspect of journaling is to give yourself permission to just start and allow the pen or your voice to reveal insights to you. Then follow the steps above for health and healing.

glen alex, mental health, mental wellness, gut health, serotonin, living in total health, the glen alex show, las vegas, nevada

What Are You Manifesting?

by Health & WellnessMental Health

I want more for you. More love, more health, more wellth. My mission is for you to be joyful, connected, confident, and complete, the life experience I call wellth, which is health plus other riches. That’s why I do what I do, to bring more love and light to you.

I can’t get more for you, however. No one can. Even though I can guide and support you that is a superpower unattainable. So in order for you to become more and achieve what you desire, you are required to consciously engage in the manifestation process. Such conscious engagement is far more than wishful thinking, passive hope to get what you want.

Here’s the kicker – you already participate in the manifestation process subconsciously, on autopilot…

 

Manifestation and the Law of Attraction

Manifestation is your proactive application of the Law of Attraction, one of 12 Universal Laws that govern our lives. According to Wikipedia, the Law of Attraction brings to each person the conditions and experiences that they predominantly think about, or which they desire or expect. Simply put, the Law of Attraction is like attracts like. The universe returns to you whatever you think about the most.

For example, if most of your mental energy is focused on how people mistreat you then you will attract people who mistreat you. Stated another way, if you constantly beat yourself up for being less than perfect, rich, smart, etc., then people in your life will tend to demean and disrespect you.

Such negative manifestation of your predominant thoughts and focus of your mental energy isn’t about punishing you nor is it about you being unlovable or unworthy. The Law of Attraction operates without judgement. It does not care if you are a doctor, parent, janitor, teacher, salesperson, server, billionaire, etc. The Law of Attraction is the same for all humans and manifests what you focus on the most.

“Where your attention goes your energy flows.”
–James Redfield, Celestine Prophecy

And your energy flow is like a boomerang, what you send out comes back to you. Ever wonder why you continue to have the same types of experiences, meet the same types of people? Here’s the kicker – you already participate in the manifestation process subconsciously, on autopilot, which tends to be negative and about what you don’t have.

“We tend to think the same negative and unconstructive things
over and over again…80 percent of our thoughts are negative.”
–Glen Alex, Living in Total Health, Thinking Well Chapter

Reminder… the Law of Attraction gives you more of what you think about most often. Repetitive negative thoughts = repetitive negative experiences.

Glen Alex, Living in Total Health, rejoice, mental energy, manifestation, law of attraction

So why not participate consciously in the manifestation process to actualize what you desire?

 

 

How to Manifest Your Desires

As with total health, there is no one-size-fits-all. No one formula that works for every person. You are a unique and dynamic creature, so what works for others may not work for you. There are some common steps you can take, however. Start with the blueprint below and adjust as needed until you discover your personal strategy that produces the outcomes you want.

1.

Identify What You Want

Be clear and specific. It is crucial that you frame your desire in the affirmative as if it already exists. Do not focus on what you don’t want; focus only what you do want. This is the attention part of manifestation.

Helpful tools to focus your attention
• Vision boards are visual representations of what you desire.
• Affirmations are your written desires framed as if they already exist.

2.

Take Action

Your desire will not just drop out of the sky, no matter how much you want it. You must take intentional action toward your goal. Too many people want a job or relationship, for example. Yet they don’t apply for work or they don’t put themselves in social situations to meet new people. Take steps toward your desire.

3.

Be Patient

Your desire may not materialize in a day, not even if you focus properly and take action. Be patient as the universe processes and unfolds on your behalf.

4.

Be Grateful

Being in gratitude is the experience of wholeness, the alignment of your body, mind, and spirit. We are innately whole and gratitude reconnections us to that. Being in gratitude also includes the experience of being deeply connected to life and the unwavering awareness that you are not alone and are supported at all times. Genuine gratitude for what you have beckons the universe to send you more.
• Keep a Gratitude Journal or express gratitude in your meditation.

5.

Limiting Beliefs

Your desires must align with your beliefs about self. If your desire conflicts with your negative self-worth, then your thoughts and actions will only support your beliefs. And the universe will comply to give you more of the same.

I also recommend you take up or level up your meditation practice. Because most humans think on autopilot, we have the same negative thoughts day in and day out. Meditation will make you aware of your steam of consciousness and teach you how to control your thinking and what you focus on. Neo Positivity, Voice of the Thoughts Become Things Movement, shared on The Glen Alex Show that he started meditating when he first learned about the Law of Attraction to be able to manage his thoughts and control his focus.

 

 

You are a co-creator in your life. Your conscious participation in the manifestation process and application of the Law of Attraction will garner the actualization of your desires. Please note that you already participate in the process with your habitual, negative, and repetitive thoughts. The Law of Attraction returns them to you, what you don’t want. I want more love, health, and wellth for you so be conscious and proactive in the process to manifest what you do want.

 

To learn more about the Law of Attraction, check out this month’s episode The Glen Alex Show featuring Neo Positivity, Voice of the Thoughts Become Things Movement on on YouTube, iHeartRadio, and wherever you get your podcasts.

 

Glen Alex, health blog, Living in Total Health, The Glen Alex Show, gut health, mental health, Las Vegas, NV

How Gut Health Enhances Mental Health

by Health & WellnessMental Health

“Follow the science” is the pandemic-borne mantra designed to communicate one school of thought re: the virus. While one train of thought is rare in any community because there is diversity within all human groups, that statement oh so meaningful when it comes to your gut. Following the science of gut health can enhance your mental health.

Science has made remarkable discoveries about the gut. Recent scientific research shows that there is an intimate connection between gut health and mental health. Although this area of research is in its infancy, the results thus far are promising in identifying key components of this intricate and powerful relationship. This is a massive breakthrough for the mind-body connection.

This is a massive breakthrough for the mind-body connection.

What makes the Gut so Important?

Exactly why is this part of the gastrointestinal tract so important to physical and mental health? Let’s start with the gut being referred to as the “second brain”. Below are specifics about the gut’s impact on the mind and body.

1. According to UCLA Professor Emeritus of medicine, David Heber, MD, PhD, 70% of the immune system is in the gut. Others say 80%.

2. The gut contains more than 100 trillion microbes that produce vitamins, extract nutrients from food, and block bad bacteria from doing harm.

3. The gut is the only organ that has its own independent nervous system.

4. The gut communicates bi-directionally with the brain—the gut speaks to the brain and the brain speaks to the gut.

5. The gut produces 95% of serotonin in the body.

Number 5

Let’s focus on number five. The gathering of immune cells, the production of nutrients, blocking bad bacteria, the independent nervous system, and direct communication with the brain are crucial to overall physical health. And when the body feels good, the minds tends to as well. Yet for me, the production and presence of serotonin, is the most bearing on mental health.

Serotonin has many important roles in the body. It helps with bowel movements, sleep, healing wounds, bone health, and other bodily functions. This neurotransmitter also helps control and regulate depression and anxiety.

Mental Health Boosted by Serotonin

Contrary to popular representations of mental illness which tend to focus on the most severe disorders, anxiety and depression are the two most common mental health issues among American adults. Those suffering from anxiety and depression tend to have low levels of serotonin. In fact, common antidepressant medications specifically target serotonin levels.

So it’s not by chance that serotonin is also referred to as a mood stabilizer.

“Research…supports the idea that serotonin plays a role, not only in the treatment of depression but also in susceptibility to depression and suicide.”
–Simon N Young, PhD, Professor Emeritus of Psychiatry McGill University

The fact that 95% of serotonin is produced in the gut is huge because it points to the importance of gut health in mental health. People with normal levels of serotonin tend to be happier, calmer, more focused, less anxious, and more emotionally stable, according to public health journalist Annamarya Scaccia.

glen alex, mental health, mental wellness, gut health, serotonin, living in total health, the glen alex show, las vegas, nevada

The fact that 95% of serotonin is produced in the gut is huge because it points to the importance of gut health in mental health. People with normal levels of serotonin tend to be happier, calmer, more focused, less anxious, and more emotionally stable, according to public health journalist Annamarya Scaccia.

How to Boost Serotonin Levels Naturally

Here are a few simple ways for you to increase your serotonin levels without medication. Please consult your primary health care provider or dietician to develop a plan to meet your specific health needs.

1. Sunlight and Vitamin D: sunlight increases serotonin and vitamin d, both antidepressants.

2. Exercise: Living in Total Health redefines exercise as activity because of the stigma associated with the word exercise. Regular physical activity releases serotonin.

3. Nutrition: Certain foods contain the amino acid Tryptophan which makes serotonin. Salmon, eggs, and nuts are a few.

4. Meditation and mindfulness can promote the release of serotonin.

Gut Health = Mental Health

The health of your gut is crucial to overall health and particularly to mental health. Following the science of serotonin research leads to the understanding that a healthy gut improves physical and mental health. This understanding can easily lead to choices and behaviors that enhance the health of your health.

To learn more about gut health, check out The Glen Alex Show: Gut Health with Amanda Wikan on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts.

Glen Alex Emotional Eating Las Vegas Nevada Living In Total Health EAT

Do You Reach for Comfort Foods When Distressed? Learn How to Stop Emotional Eating with EAT

by Health & WellnessMental Health

About Emotional Eating

It is so easy to reach for candy or alcohol to feel better, whatever better is. Perhaps your work load is overwhelming so you have an extra glass of wine to take the edge off. Maybe your spouse isn’t paying enough positive attention to you and chocolate helps you ignore your loneliness for a while. Or you struggle to make ends meet, “…you have more month than money” as Jim Rohn said, and you eat extra helpings at dinner to calm your anxiety.

Emotional eating is not about satisfying physical hunger.
It is all about distracting self from emotional distress.

These are examples of emotional eating, using food and drink to comfort unpleasant emotions and stress, meaning that you consume food and drink solely to make you feel better and take your mind off of what is troubling to you. Emotional eating is not about satisfying physical hunger. It’s all about distracting self from emotional distress. Thus, emotional eating is also called stress eating.

 

Negative Effects of Emotional Eating

As emotional eating provides the short term distraction that you believe equals relief, it also creates many negative effects in the long term. Weight gain, cumulative stress, and unresolved emotional issues are just a few negatives resulting from comfort food and drink. To be clear, emotional eating is not about physical hunger. It is about masking or avoiding your negative and unpleasant emotional experiences.

And it’s about masking mine too. With all of my knowledge and experience in psychotherapy, I too have given in to dulling my emotional pain with food and/or drink. Allow me to share two examples from my life.

 

My Personal Struggles with Emotional Eating

Glen Alex working through grief and depression. las vegas, nv

In 2013, my brother Kenny succumbed to Prostate Cancer. He transitioned in my arms. Kenny’s death at such a young age hit me like an eye-less hurricane–there was no calm in that storm. The grief eventually gave way to the deepest depression I have ever experienced. And I drowned myself in food and booze for months. I just wanted to stop feeling the agonizing sorrow that greeted me every morning and put me to sleep every night. Needless to say that I gained weight and triggered negative processes in my body, revealed by labs and scans.

This picture was taken during my depression and all I see is my sadness.

More recently, my maternal aunt transitioned. I couldn’t attend the funeral that was held in another state. I was able, however, to watch her live-streamed funeral service. It was lovely; yet I was distraught. The depth of sadness I experienced while watching surprised me. Not being there to support my uncle and cousins was difficult. Wondering how lonely it must be, I empathized with another aunt who is the last living sibling of my mother. I broke down seeing my siblings who I haven’t seen in nearly two years because of the pandemic. And I lost it when my mother’s name was said during the reading of my aunt’s obituary. The sadness lingered long after I stopped sobbing. So I ate extra helpings of my otherwise healthy meal to take my mind off of my losses. The excess food bogged down and aggravated my digestive conditions.

 

Loss and Comfort Foods

My emotional eating seems to center around significant losses. I’m very resilient when it comes to everyday-type losses and normal life stress. The existential nature of death and big life shifts intensify my emotional experiences. I had to learn this about myself. And adjust. I was able to transform my overindulgence in comfort food and drink over an extended period after Kenny died to just one meal after my aunt’s funeral.

And I allowed myself to experience my sadness. Allowing it to be allowed it to release. Masking and avoiding pain only serve to strengthen it, make it last longer than necessary. Don’t get me wrong, sitting in sadness was not at all comfortable. However, accepting it as a normal human response to loss not only made it bearable, acceptance evoked confidence that I could handle my pain and would be okay.

Allowing it to be allowed it to release.

EAT

While intense sadness elicits my emotional eating, yours may have a different trigger— arguments with your significant other, trouble on your job, a stressful day, traffic. Whatever causes you to consume comfort food, you can strengthen your coping skills and improve how you manage negative and unpleasant emotional experiences.

Here’s how I did with EAT.

Evaluate

Ask yourself if you are eating to satisfy physical hunger. If the answer is no, then you are eating to mask emotion. Next, ask yourself “What am I avoiding?” It’s okay if you don’t have an answer. Just asking the question plants a reflective seed in your mind that may be enough to stop you from emotional eating in that moment and set you up to be more mindful about it in the future, and thereby limit, reduce, or eliminate emotional eating.

Act

Move your body. Physical movement is a great way to process and manage emotion. According to Tony Robbins, the secret to changing your state of mind (and emotions) is moving your body. Something as simple as jumping up and down a few times, walking around your space, or giving yourself a hug could reset your state of mind and shift your emotions. Action can also reduce or eliminate your need to satisfy your emotional hunger and be the catalyst for your intuition to give you pertinent information that will help you cope better and grow.

 

Transform

Convert your emotional hunger into empowerment. Emotional eating comes from a position of weakness, a lack of understanding of how powerful and capable you really are. You see, each of us are born with gifts, talents, and intuition. We already know how to navigate through life to get our needs met most appropriately and how to live full and joyful lives. This is strength. Somewhere along the way, unfortunately, we are led away from who we truly are and fall into unhealthy patterns such as this. Evaluating your emotional eating, moving your body, connecting with someone who supports your best, and being open to your intuition will naturally allow your emotions to be so they can release, transforming your emotional hunger and restoring your innate strength, empowering you to cope in healthy ways.

 

Manage Emotional Distress to Live More Fully, Joyfully

The purpose of consuming comfort food and drink during emotional upset is to avoid or mask the pain. Though it seems like a quick fix because it distracts you for a brief period, emotional eating does more harm than good. It causes health problems like unwanted weight gain. Also, the  unresolved distress and the stress required to suppress emotions do take their toll on how well your body and mind function, diminishing your experience of life. Employ my EAT strategy to better manage your emotional upsets so you may live more fully and more joyfully.

 

 

Do you need help coping with emotional distress? 

Living In Total Health is a great place to start! This total wellness guide covers all factors influence, providing insights and information that you can apply immediately. 
–Living In Total Health is available in hardcover and ebook. Click to order your copy.

Contact Glen to schedule your complimentary consultation
to identify and address your barriers to being 

Joyful. Connected. Confident. Complete.
Glen Alex, Living In Total Health, 2021 Indie Book Award Winner
Glen Alex, Living In Total Health, 2021 Indie Book Award Winner

5 Pillars of Total Health

by Health & WellnessMental Health

What comes to mind when you think of the word health? If you’re like most people, that word immediately conjures up sweating in a gym and eating salads. Unfortunately, health is far too often defined by diet and exercise with the results limited by those two measures. Health, by the way, is so much more than shape and size. Total health is about the whole person.

Glen Alex, Living In Total Health, 2021 Indie Book Award Winner

We are physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual beings. Each aspect matters. Although it’s helpful to separate these pillars to focus on specific health issues, dismissing either is problematic because doing so denies our wholeness. Total health integrates all of who we are. Only then we can function at the highest level, laugh from the depths of our bellies, love from the bottoms of our hearts, and connect soul to soul.

…embrace your whole self to achieve total health so you can function, laugh, love, and connect fully.


THE PILLARS OF TOTAL HEALTH

The pillars of total health are not necessarily sequential. Because they are interdependent, health in any one pillar will positively impact health in the others. Therefore, they can be worked on in whatever order you decide is best for you.

Pillar 1: Physical Health

The physical aspect of total health is the most grounding. How each of us physically relates to the earth, the elements, and biology is crucial to overall health. Although what you eat and how active you are do significantly impact physical functioning, other measures are also just as important to physical health. Have you heard of anyone who had a healthy lifestyle suddenly fall ill?

Bob is an active man. He works out, rides his bike, and swims regularly. Bob and his wife also consume the recommended amounts of fruits, vegetables, and water. Then one day, Bob had a heart attack. Fortunately, he is recovering well.

While Bob did a great job with diet and exercise, his internal health went unnoticed. Bob’s cardiac issues could have been detected earlier with regular physical exams and diagnostics. These health tools assess what is going on inside the body. The superficial measures of calories in and calories out cannot.

In addition to getting physicals and diagnostics as indicated, being your own advocate to individualize your medical care is the X-factor in your health. Don’t just settle for whatever your provider says. Ask questions. Gather information. Seek a second opinion if necessary. Disclose specifics about your condition, situation, and experience. Your relationship with the provider is best as a collaboration and your proactive input is required for you to achieve your best health outcomes.

Pillar 2: Mental Health

During the pandemic, mental health received much needed attention. Perhaps now this undeniably crucial aspect of humanity will be addressed properly by policy makers because mental health issues can be caused by medical conditions, medication or other substances, trauma, and significant life events.

In cases where mental health issues are triggered by illness, substances, or trauma, medical intervention can be most effective. I recommend clients see their primary healthcare provider to rule out any physiological cause of their distress and to determine if medication therapy is appropriate to alleviate any debilitating symptoms caused by the mental health issue.

According to the CDC, depression and anxiety are the most common mental health issues that American adults face. Medical conditions aside, these two issues are directly related to paradigm. Your paradigm is the lens through which you view life. This lens is filtered by your mindset and beliefs about how life should be. Depression and anxiety set in when the reality of life and your beliefs differ. With depression, the belief is about what should have or should not have happened in the past. Anxiety poses the belief that the future will be bad.

If your experience of life is diminished by depression or anxiety, help is available. Psychotherapy helps you reframe and redefine your paradigm to be more realistic, to help you navigate life in a way that enhances your health and joy. Effective coping skills are also taught in psychotherapy. Medication coupled with talk therapy has shown significant improvements in these issues. So please, get help.

Pillar 3: Emotional Health

Life can be demanding. Situations can be stressful. Relationships can be challenging. Demands, stress, and challenges all elicit emotional reactions. Such emotions are sometimes powerful and overwhelming, enough to lead to poor choices, harmful outbursts, or overindulgence in food and/or substances.

Emotional health involves being able to manage emotional ups and downs in a way that you are able to maintain equilibrium and learn from the experience that triggered the emotions. Just waiting for the unpleasant ‘feelings’ to pass may seem the easiest thing to do. It will not, however, enhance your emotional health. In fact, ignoring your emotions, allowing them to fester, or acting out impulsively makes things worse because the situation that triggered your reaction remains unresolved and problematic.

Specific skills are required to achieve and maintain emotional health. Emoting with Intelligence is the skillset needed to recognize when you’re in the throes of emotion, contain it, reflect on its meaning, and make conscious choices about how to respond. This skillset enables you to navigate life’s upheavals and maintain emotional health, and is taught in the Emoting with Intelligence chapter of Living In Total Health.

Pillar 4: Spiritual Health

Living In Total Health defines spirituality as your connection to Love. For me, Love is the state from whence all creation comes. So how well you are connected to the Source, to your family and friends, to your community, and to your True Self determines your level of spiritual health.

Connection can manifest as oneness or unity and as intuition, which is an awareness ‘that passeth understanding’. Being at one or unified with another is pretty self-explanatory. Intuition, on the other hand, may not be. It is innate knowing and guidance that you and I are born with. Consider it a gift from the Source of life. Intuition contains all of the information each of us requires to get our needs met in the healthiest way and to experience joy on a regular basis.

Pillar 5: Healthy Boundaries

This pillar will surprise many. Most people only think of boundaries as saying no. They don’t get that healthy boundaries are so much more than that one word. Nor do they get that without healthy boundaries, achieving health in the other 4 pillars is nearly unattainable.

Boundaries are your innate alarm system designed to protect you from harmful forces. Your boundaries are also required for you to properly develop into your own unique self. As such, boundaries are the foundation of health and happiness. Without healthy boundaries, every area of your life can be negatively impacted.

Let’s look at a few ways that boundaries impact the other pillars of health.

Physical
The physical boundary involves what happens to your body.

  • Bodily sensations serve as warning signs when you are in physical danger
  • Inappropriate or unwanted touching can lead to depression, anxiety, self-loathing

Mental
The mental boundary involves agreements and expectations.

  • Unrealistic expectations set others up to fail you, which can cause you to question your self-worth when they let you down and lead to anger and depression
  • Overcommitting entails unrealistic agreements; agreeing to things you can’t realistically accomplish damages your credibility, causes you to avoid others, triggers anxiety and guilt

Emotional Health
The emotional boundary involves proper individuation, being your own person and not taking on the drama/chaos/baggage/issues of another person as if they are yours–not the same empathy.

  • You “lose” yourself to someone else and behave, speak, and react like the other person
  • Friends and family to tell you that you have changed and not for the better

Spiritual Health
The spiritual boundary involves being connected and following your intuition.

  • Ever say to yourself, “I should’ve followed my first mind” or something similar? …indicates that you ignored your intuition, which can lead to problems
  • Loneliness is the absence of meaningful connection to self, family, community, or purpose and is a big factor in depression and suicide

There are many more examples of how unhealthy boundaries affect total health. For more on healthy boundaries please read Living In Total Health, the 2021 Indie Book Award Winner for Health/Wellness and finalist in the Mind, Body, Spirit category. Living In Total Health is available on glenalex.com.

Glen Alex, Living In Total Health, 2021 Indie Book Award Winner

My life’s work is about total health. Of those who know me and my work in health, many still volunteer that they worked out or plan to do something active to assure me they’re on the path to health. This is great. Yet it is not enough. While total health often begins in the physical realm, true health requires the physical to be in concert with the other pillars. Mental, emotional, spiritual, and boundary health matter as much as the physical. So embrace your whole self to achieve total health so you can function, laugh, love, and connect fully.

Assess your boundary health with Glen’s Boundaries Questionnaire.
Visit glenalex.com to subscribe to receive the questionnaire for free, to learn information on Glen’s self-paced course, Healthy Boundaries for Overwhelmed Women, and to purchase Living In Total Health.

Glen Alex, Las Vegas, NV: How Poor Boundaries Inhibit Mental Wellness Blog

How Poor Boundaries Inhibit Mental Wellness

by Health & WellnessMental Health

The Foundation of Mental Wellness

Healthy boundaries are the foundation of mental wellness. Boundaries are your innate, personal alarm system that is necessary for you to properly develop as a unique individual and for you to protect yourself from harm. You are designed to be and share who you truly are, expressing the special gift you were born with. There are many harmful forces in the world and your boundaries defend you against them. As such, healthy boundaries form the line where what you will and will not tolerate meet. Poor boundaries do not facilitate individuality or safety and inhibit mental wellness.

What is Mental Wellness?

How well your thoughts, emotions, and actions align with reality defines how mentally well you are. When what you think, when your emotional responsiveness, and when your behavior (choices) are in one accord with the way the world actually functions, not how you believe it should be, then your level of mental wellness will be high. The more attuned you are to reality, its pleasantries as well as its harshness, then the more healthy and realistic your existence is. You handle life’s ups and downs relatively well…going with the flow, learning as you go.

Mental wellness also involves being able to recognize your strengths and build upon them, to cope with life’s challenges and still experience joy, and to contribute to society via productive and meaningful works.

Healthy Boundaries Meet Mental Wellness
Healthy boundaries are based in reality. What is, not what was nor what if. Those who are stuck in the past or dwell on the future fare less well in the present and experience excessive disappointment, anger, anxiety, depression, and weakened self-confidence. The clarity in healthy boundaries promotes overall health and happiness and is directly linked to mental wellness.

Common Unhealthy Boundaries

Let’s look at examples of common unhealthy boundaries and how they impact mental wellness. Three common poor boundaries are unrealistic expectations, overcommitting, and oversharing.

Unrealistic Expectations
Perhaps the most underrated boundary is the mental boundary, which is about agreements. An agreement occurs when two or more people decide together how things will go—a business deal, a relationship, an event. This agreement provides a cooperative understanding between the individuals involved. Each person knows what to expect, realistically.

Alternatively, no agreement exists when one person assumes what another person will do, imposing an unrealistic and unspoken expectation on him or her. There is no conversation nor any communication about what the assumer wants. This unrealistic expectation sets the other person up to fail because he or she does not read minds and are therefore unable to give the assumer what s/he wishes for.

Unspoken and unrealistic expectations kill relationships. More than that, they lead the one who silently hopes for a specific outcome and who assumes the other person will deliver it to doubt their own worth. After all if they were important enough, then they would get what they want from the other person automatically. When the assumer does not get their way, then they may get angry or depressed and have unrealistic thoughts like I’m unlovable, Why doesn’t s/he love me?, What’s wrong with me?, I’m not good enough.

Unrealistic Commitments
Most people believe that boundaries are only about saying no. Though not true in all situations, saying no is definitely required to set healthy limits when appropriate. Life itself naturally imposes challenges and stress. Voluntarily compounding normal stress with overcommitting creates other issues. The unwillingness to decline requests and refuse to add to your already full plate leads to overwhelm, guilt, and low self-esteem.

The overwhelm produced by not communicating no, your line in the sand, when appropriate is ripe with a loss of control, which is laden with anxiety because you stress about getting it all done, knowing that you can’t do it all. And because you can’t do it all, you fail to follow through on promises which triggers guilt, damages your credibility, and wears you out.

Unrealistic Sharing
Do you or anyone you know think of themselves as “an open book”? Those who do tend to believe that sharing is caring, that by telling all about themselves they are engendering closeness, connection with others. I have met people who disclosed their most intimate secrets and desires within a few minutes of meeting me. Oversharing is off-putting to those with healthy boundaries. To those with poor boundaries, your oversharing is a way in to manipulate, to deceive, to get a way in for the sole purpose of getting what they want from you.

Oversharing is not caring. It communicates vulnerability, gullibility, and personal weakness to some. Those with poor boundaries are attracted to you because you give them all the information they need to take advantage of you. Abusers gain intel on how to worm their way in from your oversharing (telling too much). They use who you are against you to get what they want—sex, money, favors, etc.

The consequences of oversharing and being taken advantage of are hurt, anger, anxiety, stress, low self-esteem, and/or depression.

Poor boundaries are harmful to your mental health. They make you vulnerable to dangerous forces in life and heap unnecessary stress upon you. Unrealistic expectations, overcommitting, and oversharing are a few examples of unhealthy boundaries. Some consequences of unhealthy boundaries include anxiety, depression, anger, and poor self-esteem.

Mental wellness is measured by a person’s connection to reality, to what is. Healthy boundaries are directly connected with mental wellness because they are based in reality. Your clarity about what you will and will not tolerate and making that line clear to others will offer you peace of mind, less stress, and enhance your mental wellness.

Assess your boundary health with Glen’s Boundaries Questionnaire.
Simply subscribe to receive it for free. Also visit glenalex.com for information on Glen’s self-paced course, Healthy Boundaries for Overwhelmed Women.